Guess Who's Going to be on Survivor

The little bio-blurbs about the new Survivor cast members went up recently, maybe today? I don't know, I just learned that they went up today. In high school, I would eagerly read the "favorites" list of each new cast member, hoping that someone listened to the same music as me. I refused to listen to mainstream music or anything that any of my friends listened to. But I really wanted the people on Survivor to listen to the same music as me? I don't know, I guess that my relationship to popular culture in high school making no sense is old news. Anyway, CBS doesn't do the lists of favorites any more, which is stupid. Those were the best part. But even without the favorite parts, the next season of Survivor has the two most exciting cast bios in Survivor history (18 seasons, btw). But first, the most obnoxious thing from a cast bio:

"If Benjamin was asked to wear just one hat, it would be that of "Renaissance Man." " That is simultaneously the stupidest and most pretentious possible answer. Congratulations, Benjamin.

Anyway, the second most exciting Survivor castaway based on bio alone is Taj, who was a member of SWV. So exciting! My favorite SWV song is "Give It Up" ft. Lil' Kim.

The first most exciting is Spencer. Spencer is gay, a huge fan of Survivor since season 1, a fan of gossip, and named Spencer. I didn't even know I was on Survivor! Wait, when did I get so cute, athletic, ambitious, and 19 years old? I guess it's not actually me. I like that most of the bios say things like, "Joe Dowdle is single and resides in Austin, Texas," but Spencer's says, "Spencer is a gay, single man and currently resides in Gainesville, Fla." Yeah, heterosexual subjects being unmarked and queer subjects being marked is old news. What's new and exciting is that Spencer's bio had to point out that he's a man. "Oh no, he is identifiably male and we've referred to him with masculine pronouns throughout the whole bio, but now that, right at the end, we've mentioned he's gay, people might get confused! If he's gay, who knows if he's a man or a woman! We'd better say he's a man just to be careful." Thanks, Survivor bio-writers. The matrix of sexuality/sex/gender can be so difficult to navigate!